Though April showers may fall…

“I’d tell her to speak up,tell her to shout out,talk a bit louder,be a bit prouder
Tell her she’s beautiful, wonderful
everything she doesn’t see”
Little Me- Little Mix

Last month was my birthday month. I turned the last curve before I start seeing the 30 sign. #sigh#. It was one of the hardest months of my life. For me. To me. It was only at a church service a few days ago that the pastor talked about how we never reach our potential unless we are put in hot water thar it dawned on me.
I fasted in April, prayed for the most absurd things and on one particular day I had a fight with God about how He was not responding. He was,lol. He was turning up the heat. That night I cried, then fell asleep in a frustrated little heap. I laugh now when I think about it but it was real on that sad evening. But that’s a story for another day.
Have you ever looked back and thought of all the time you lost? On people. On things. On situations you had no business staying in for that long. April was the month that I wept for my early 20s. Although God finally told me to let all that resentment go, sometimes I really get lost thinking about it. And for someone’s sake out there here are the lessons I should have learnt 5years ago:

1. Let people go. Let people go. Let people go. The world is full. Let people go.
2. Put yourself first, always
3. There is a difference between acting confident and really loving yourself. Do you even want to be in your own company?
4. Deal with your daddy issues. Brushing it under the carpet won’t make it go away
5. Relationships are only a fraction of the person that is you.
6. God really gives us the best. We just need to step into our purpose for that to happen.Relationships are only a fraction of the person that is you.
6. God really gives us the best. We just need to step into our purpose for that to happen .

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There are several others but these are the most important. And now I do feel different. I am not sure if it’s for the better but hey, I have acknowledged that I am a work in progress. I promise to seek for my purpose whole-heartedly. When I do find it, I promise to step into it mind,body & soul. I promise to make more of an effort. I promise to try and enjoy me around me. Yes, you read right. I learnt that I did not even like my own company. Imagine that!
In conclusion,it’s been a crazy month- I surrounded myself with great friends and treated myself to a mini-vacation away for my birthday. Feeling their love for me ignited a fire within me. And it burnt. Because it made me realise the work I had to put in.
I hope you get to a point where the fire is ignited in you. I hope when it does, you will not put it out with the cold ice that is human nature. And most of all, I hope that you reach rock bottom because although it is the worst place to be, it is also the best because the only way from there is up…

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11 thoughts on “Though April showers may fall…

  1. This really inspired me and my perspectives about certain things happening in my life are different…Thank you Lisa! Learning to love myself and discover who i am now, youre an amazing woman❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This hit too close to home… Them lessons deep… I too need to learn to enjoy my own company and allow my happiness to come from me… LOVE IT.. You’ve come a long way chile… I’m right behind you… Proud of you too… Great read

    Like

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